big move to wa

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So yes…as I mentioned in my previous post I’ve been living in WA for a little over a year.

Quite honestly it hasn’t exactly been a spectacular experience. The only accomplishment that comes to mind worth mentioning was that I somehow snagged two job offers and became employed within a month and a half of leaving my cushy HR position back in CA. I admit and am so thankful to find a job almost immediately. Not very many are lucky.

I furnished my apartment with big girl purchases like a non-IKEA couch and mattress (I did however purchase a dresser, bed frame and some shelving but jazzed them up a little with a little DIY magic). I went through a Pinterest phase to occupy my time as I was job hunting and I must say I am most impressed with my bed frame.

In terms of making new friends…I haven’t made very many…or at all. On the brighter side, I’ve made work friends who are BTW –  awesome. I never thought I’d meet a group of people at work and become friends with them. It’s so much different from when I worked in CA. The demographics of my coworkers are so much different. The friends that I already had out here are limited and while I have them everyone has their own separate adult lives that they’re living so hanging out with anyone can be a bit of a struggle.

I decided to try out Bumble.

Now don’t get too excited I signed up for Bumble BFFs to see if it’s possible to make friends online. I’ve really gone into the deep end of the Zone of Desperation. So far chats are awkward but I will do my best *fingers crossed* to post some updates. Never had I thought that making friends in my mid-to-late twenties would be this awkward and difficult. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my Resting Bitch Face (RBF) that derails some would-be friendships or if it’s because I’m not ‘putting myself out there’ enough. Whatever the case may be making friends at this age/stage/life moment is the worst. There have been times I’ve thought about taking on new hobbies for my own enjoyment and as a means of meeting new people with similar interests. While I make lists on lists of hobbies and ideas of things I could possibly do, I can’t pinpoint anything I’ll have a long term interest in. So far I’ve tangoed with the idea of getting back into pottery and taking a stab into film photography. There’s a better chance of me getting into film photography because it could turn into something totally useful in my adult life. I do still love pottery but I have no idea what I’d do with the excess works of art I’d have laying around. Potentially sell? Who knows.

Recently I had my monthly dinner/happy hour with a friend from college. I updated her about my life – basically everything that I could think of. I told her of my current predicament with not being able to make new friends. She invited me to watch the Seahawks with a group of her friends. I told her I’d take her up on her offer. I think I made a conscious decision to stop saying “No, maybe another time” or “I’ll let you know” or ‘Oh, I don’t know.’ I know that the way I approach things needs to be different because I want my outcome to be different. Less lonely TBH.

Another friend texted me recently and asked how I managed to stay a ghost in the entire time since I’ve moved out here. I told him I wasn’t sure. For whatever reason it was just easy to go to work and go home and hang out on the weekends with my boyfriend. It was my fault that I wasted an entire year not exploring, hiking, taking classes, not doing anything and everything.

I especially feel like I wasted the best season out here. I spent an entire summer being sad. I’m not allowing myself to waste any more time. I told Heather (more on her in another post) that I felt like there was nothing for me in Washington after the first worst moment of my life. She asked if I had felt like I gave Seattle a real shot. If I had explored as much as a I could. If I had gone out and done as much as I could in a single year. I admitted that I hadn’t. Which is why I’m on a mission to give Washington a whole year to figure out if I want to stay here.

It’s pretty nuts that a whole year has passed and I haven’t done shit.

This needs to be my Year of Yes.

xx/jack

 

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