am I not supposed to be friends?

I have no idea who I personally know is reading this blog. I guess I don’t really mind what everyone knows.

A week or so ago I had posed a question to my group chat with my WA friends. I wanted to know if anyone was free to get Korean fried chicken with me. Everyone except for my former roommate was busy so I texted him on the side and asked if he still wanted to go. He said he was free. I didn’t think too much about grabbing something to eat with him because we had done it more than a handful of times while living together. In my head it wasn’t a big deal. So we had breakfast instead because KFC restaurant didn’t open until 5pm. It was like any other time we’d eaten together, we chatted about whatever, talked about Elliott, Elliott’s birthday party, friends. Like I said, no big deal. We were friends after all.

I texted one of the friends from the group telling her I had stopped by an animal rescue that had a couple pups and how I pretty much fell in love with a pup. Later on I admitted that I had breakfast with the former roommate who had also accompanied me to the rescue and she said, “Whyyyy?” I don’t know why I felt the need to leave out who I hung out with and frankly I shouldn’t have cared what that friend thought. For whatever reason I felt ashamed that I had hung out with him one on one. But then I thought, well why not. Mind you, I didn’t think it was too big of a deal earlier on.

Am I not supposed to be friends with my ex? I mean, not everyone has the history to remain friends but that also doesn’t mean it’s impossible to be friends with them. First off, why not have a meal with someone who wants to have a meal with you? I’ve lived out here for almost two years and still find it a constant struggle to locate friends to hang out with. People have plans; things they’re up to. If someone is down to accompany me to something then I’ll be down to have them come with.

xx/jack

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