honestly

Here I am again typing away at 1 in the morn. It’s my fault for stuffing my face with leftover Thai and then making it a mission to retrieve halo-halo and trekking 45 mins back to my place. I was desperate and craving. I popped two Midols so I’m feeling good right now…at 130am.

I’ve been lying to myself for the last year or maybe playing blind to a lot of things that have happened in the last couple years. It’s weird having…revelations…. I guess these sorts of things happen when you’re given quiet time to think. People need that you know, quiet time. Thinking. It can also get you into trouble but for the most part I think it’s good. So I’m playing the let’s be honest with myself game right now. At this hour.

I think the last few years, especially this last year I’ve been really withdrawn and so needy. I don’t even recognize that girl. It’s disturbing. I’ve been working on doing things by myself which, honestly, I prefer and is something I had been doing for a while. I don’t have to deal with people not wanting to do the same things as me.

Thinking about it now, I’ve decided that if I want to travel some place I’m going to go with or without companions.

This post is vague and all over the place. I’m not sorry about that. Who would I be if I wasn’t vague and all over the place. Really.

It’s helpful to be able to relive things and see what was going on from a different perspective. See the things you were telling your friends and how they were hearing it. Feedback is super important also. The people I surround myself with have been angels listening to me say the same shit over and over until I could figure it out for myself. Or…begin to piece it together.

I’m curious to know who out there reads my posts. Do I know you? How did you come across my site?

xx/jack

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