prelude london|paris|cork 2018

Hi there – it’s been a minute since I’ve last posted. Just doing a semi short blog post on my solo trip to Europe. Just a heads up – I won’t give up all the details to my trip because I want the majority of the magic to stay with me and only me. I still have secret smile when I reminisce about my two week trip abroad. If you know me well, you know that this trip was desperately needed. It’s true when people say you feel different when you take some time to experience a different culture…basically escaping your day to day life even if for a little bit makes you feel different.

I felt so brave. So strong. So independent. Everything I imagine myself to be true. Everything that is true about me.

The majority of this trip was to focus on my mental health. I was |thisclose| to experiencing another mental break down. Seriously |soclose|. I needed time to myself even if it were a short period of time. I absolutely needed to center myself. Do things only I enjoy doing and not pleasing anyone but myself. Sometimes you need to quiet down and realize ‘running’ away for some peace and quiet is what you need. Now, I will say I didn’t technically run away from my problems, I solved a couple things before I left – literally right before I left. There’s been a lot of clarity, a lot of hard feelings that have disappeared. A lot of forgiveness. I have never been a person to forgive and forget. Truth. I so badly just wanted to be at peace with everything. I found it. I’m living in it.

Even before I boarded my flight to London I met someone who had no idea who and how I was. This person didn’t know that I had gone to therapy, he had no idea that I had a anxiety attacks. He knew absolutely nothing. We bonded over a need to charge our phones at the charging station near our gate. Initially I wasn’t interested in engaging with this individual because I don’t normally talk to strangers out of the blue. But this time around I wanted to do something uncharacteristic so I made the conscious decision to offer up an extra USB charging adapter for him to use. We struck up a normal adult conversation about what we do for a living, things we’re interested in, where we live. It was like a Bumble/Tinder date without being weird. At the beginning of our conversation I said I was boring and talked about how I work in HR and then later admitted that I actually wanted to become a floral designer. He asked me point blank, ‘what’s stopping you?’ Without thinking I said, ‘me.’ There was no reason for me to lie to someone I don’t know. Towards the end of our conversation he took a long look at me and said in all his British accent glory that I was definitely not boring. I was traveling to Europe alone – I was going on an adventure. I have a stable job. I’m into something most people aren’t interested in. I’m not boring. I’m interesting as fuck.

*lightbulb moment*

After this conversation I decided I would strike conversations with anyone. I would try my best not to have my semi-/permanent RBF face on. There was no point in closing myself off to people. Cuz seriously what’s the point?

I was on vacation for two weeks in November. Basically my itinerary was:

  • Fly to London
    • Explore historic buildings and sites
      • Buckingham Palace
      • All of Westminster
      • Stonehenge (technically an hour and a half west of London)
      • Tower Bridge
      • Millennium Bridge
    • Afternoon tea
    • Eat
  • Take the train to Paris
    • Explore historic building and sites
      • Eiffel Tower
      • The Louvre
      • Arc de Triompe
      • Sacre Couer
      • Notre Dame
    • Eat
  • Fly to Cork
    • See the countryside
    • Visit a castle
    • Jameson Experience (whiskey!!!!)
    • Cliffs of Moher

I got quite lost a bit in London and Paris but it was all so amazing because the streets were so beautiful and everyone I came across were extremely helpful. I don’t quite feel like getting into very much right now so maybe I’ll break this blog up into parts. I’ll call this the prelude.

xx/jack

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