it’s been a cool minute since i last made a blog post and i’m pretty sure i should (at least for my sake) explain why.
in the middle of july 2019, i went out on a hinge date. long story short we texted for close to a whole week before we met up in person. it was my way of making sure he wasn’t murder-y. just to be clear – there is no way to tell if someone will end up being a creep while texting or even after meeting them. after going out on this date to a restaurant – he talked about money a lot – i was mentally revisiting some conversations we had and started to piece together that this individual had done some research on me. he had somehow found my blog. my mistake to have the link on my IG account – but even then – that’s a shit ton of jacqueline’s to sort through. i realized he had been referencing my bucket list blog post along with my post about being a single millennial pup owner. he tried to mold himself into someone that i would get a long with and could easily relate to. all very strange. i’d prefer not to have to relive it and will leave the story there. this creep being the main reason i haven’t been writing for a while.
anyway, i’ve been m.i.a for the better part of 2019. lots of exciting things happened
now back to your regularly scheduled show.
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it’s strange looking back at the last 10 years – the ups, the downs and the all arounds. so much has happened in what seems like a long but also short amount of time. reflecting back on the 2010s isn’t horrible — in hindsight anyway. a lot of good, bad and inbetween happened. in this last decade i’ve learned to stay present for just a minute longer rather than waiting for the next moment to happen.
a lot of self-truths came out. a lot of personal growth occurred. a lot of adulting happened. a lot of revelations came to light. a lot of goals were set and either missed or met. a lot of challenges were overcome. a lot of heartbreak and quite frankly a lot of love, understanding and respect.
peace. we can’t forget about the peace. i’ve made peace with difficult decisions – some were my own and some were not. i said hello to new friends and maybe next time to a few others. i don’t think there has ever been a time where i reflected on ten whole years. so much has happened. so much. it’s difficult to sum everything up.
a lot of things that were meant to happen, happened. i am a firm believer in that.
this past decade it was an unsaid goal to be comfortable. especially being by myself with myself. a theme that’s been carrying out for the last ten years and more is: healing.
at 20, i faced my fears and told the people closest to me about the sexual abuse i experienced as a kid. 21 – joined an asian/pacific islander interest sorority and eventually became president. broke up with my high school boyfriend. 22 – became the first person in my immediate family to graduate my college (one of my proudest moments). 23 – landed my first big girl job that taught me so much in my field. 24/25 – did some domestic travel. 26 – moved out of my parent’s house and out of my home state without a job or a lead and was offered two positions after leaving my cushy position in the bay area a month before. 27 – i sought mental health help for the abuse i experienced and realized that a lot of my anger that had been spilling stemmed from that. became a dog owner to elibelly. 28 – purchased my first car w/ my own fundz – but with the help of my dad’s negotiating skillz. moved into my own apartment after living with an ex-boyfriend for basically all of our lease and enjoyed the single + living alone lifestyle. 29 – moved in with friends to be on track to buy a house. found a great someone in an unexpected-very unjack-like place.
i rediscovered my passion for gardening and floral arranging and have been attempting to be consistent with designing. i’ve gone as far as taking many floral design classes and figured out that maybe i have an eye for this stuff and want to see where it eventually takes me.
i also started writing a semi-autobio that i want to self-/publish in two years.
it’s been hard to keep track of everything that’s happened but i remember the best and very worst moments. the ones that i think shaped me into the person i am right this very second. my twenties were a rollercoaster – but healing…even if it didn’t happen until the very last second. for the first time in my life i’ve been paying attention to who i was, who i am and who i want to be. the focus is on everything i want to accomplish in my thirties.